..:: Written .:. Off ::..

I was in bed eating pork rinds and watching “Yo Gabba Gabba”, when I heard a tapping.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

The tapping came from under my bed.

I laid there for a moment, wondering if I was going slightly bat-shit. Maybe it was the tacos that had earlier. Maybe it was the over indulgence in psychedelic children’s programming. Whatever it was, I clearly heard a distinct tapping coming from under my bed.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

I ignored the colorful characters dancing on my TV and ventured a look under my bed. To my complete surprise, staring back at me, was my blog.

“Where have you been?” I asked.

“Oh, don’t play dumb with me. You put me here!”

“I did?” I said, genuinely disturbed. I didn’t recall hiding my blog away, but somehow, there was a shred of truth in what it said.

“You did. You tied my up, and hid me away. After all of the time that we spent together, this is how you treat me?”

I pulled my blog out from under the bed and sat it on the chair next to my bed. I dusted it off, and even considered pinging it. But I held off for a moment.

“I guess an apology is in order,” I said. “But you have to admit, you weren’t doing to much to inspire me. I think that we just grew apart.”

The blog looked at me and shrugged, “True, but you were writing mostly shit towards the end there. I should have helped you out a bit more. Given you more direction. But hey, I’m only a blog, you know. Only so much I can do.”

Silence.

“So, what’s been going on?” The blog asked.

“Oh, you know, just the usual. Working and stuff. I started writing a new book!”

“Really? What’s it about?”

“It’s a science-fiction satire. Really funny stuff.”

“Sounds great,” The blog said. I could tell that it was waiting for something.

“Hey, I’ve got a great idea. Maybe…nah, you wouldn’t be interested. Not after what I abandoned you.”

The blog straighted up and said, “What? What’s your idea?”

“Well, maybe I can rename you. Get you some new clothes or something. Maybe we can start it up again!”

“Hmmm…I’d have to think about it…and you’d have to promise not to lock me away again if you get bored of me.”

I patted my blog on the head, crossed my fingers behind my back

and said,

“I promise.”